


Recuerdame

by onyxfyrefly



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Death, Loki Feels, M/M, Poor Loki, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 14:24:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11465430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onyxfyrefly/pseuds/onyxfyrefly
Summary: He leaned close, as if sharing a final secret. "It means 'Remember Me.'"





	Recuerdame

**Author's Note:**

> Read the tags, folks! This is not a happy story. I wrote this on my phone on the bus to work. All mistakes are mine. It's sappy and stupid but it's one of those things that wouldn't leave me alone until it was finished.

By the time Tony noticed the slight tremor in his hands it was too late.

It seemed like every wannabe super villain had conspired to strike within days of each other. The team was run ragged. It didn't matter if you were a demigod, a super soldier or a mere human with a specialized skill set; eventually you had to rest. Unfortunately rest was in short supply.

The one upside, if you could call it an upside, was the constant attacks put an end to Fury's never-ending briefings. The director would collect their statements and send them on their way to get patched up and to attempt to get some sleep before the next call to assemble.

Tony was plastered on the floor of the penthouse, the cold tiles a relief to his aching joints. He was considering spending the night in his current position when a crash startled him out of his thoughts.

Craning his neck he spotted Loki kneeling on the kitchen floor. "Everything alright, babe?"

The mage swore and swiped a cloth through the mess. "A mere accident."

Tony frowned and slowly rolled over, hissing when his inflamed shoulder was jostled by the movement. He suddenly realized that Loki had not healed him after the battle. No matter how exhausted the mage was he always appeared at Tony's side the moment the armor was removed, healing various wounds while muttering about his foolish mortal. 

Deciding that walking was out of the question, he began to crawl in the mage's direction. Dignity was highly overrated and it wasn't the first time he'd been in this position with Loki either.

Something wasn't sitting right with the genius. Loki did everything with grace. Whether he was fighting, cooking or just tying his shoelaces, not one movement was wasted. He did make mistakes from time to time but this incident set Tony on edge.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Loki growled and swept up the broken pieces of the mug before grabbing another from the cabinet with unnecessary force. "It was an accident. I cannot believe that you've never knocked something off of this counter before."

It took a few tries but eventually Tony managed to drag himself to his feet. He was about to make a smart remark when Loki's hands caught his attention. The elegant appendages, steady in even the most intense situation, were shaking.

Reaching across the counter, Tony caught one of the trembling hands in his own. "You're shaking. I'm going to ask this one more time: are you alright?"

The mage sighed and he seemed to deflate. His head bowed and his shoulders sank. It made him look so old yet so young at the same time."I am merely weary. I used too much energy today and am feeling the effects." The battle that day had been brutal and would have been much more bloody if Loki hadn't teleported across the battlefield like a man possessed, projecting force fields that kept both the Avengers as well as the bystanders out of harm's way.

Tony gently tugged on Loki's arm. "Come on, let's get some rest."

Loki shook his head. "I have to analyze that artifact from yesterday's battle. I didn't have time to get to it today."

"You've been with me too long, my bad habits are beginning to rub off on you."

A small smile twisted one corner of Loki's mouth. "Usually I'm the one dragging you out of the lab."

The engineer held a finger to his lips. "I can be a responsible adult when I choose. Don't tell anyone though."

The light mood faded as they entered the bedroom. Loki was too exhausted to magic away his clothing but his hands would not cooperate. After nearly ripping a clasp off in frustration he finally allowed Tony to assist him.

Typically Tony would have taken his time, kissing each piece of skin as it was bared, but tonight he undressed Loki methodically, assisted him in pulling on a worn pair of sleep pants and tucking him in to bed. Before Tony could slide beneath the sheets himself Loki was already asleep.

"JARVIS?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Perform a full body scan on Loki."

"Is there anything in particular that I am looking for?"

Tony looked down at the sleeping mage and felt something sharp twist in his gut. "Anything, everything. Send the results to my private server, the one he doesn't know about."

"What shall I name the file?"

"Please let me be wrong."

\---------

JARVIS' results were frustratingly inconclusive. There was an anomaly in Loki's energy causing it to fluctuate but aside from that nothing could be found. Tony was attempting to devise a way to obtain a blood sample without Loki blowing up the tower in a fit of rage when yet another call to assemble blared.

Tony was first on the scene and scanned the area. "Where's Loki?"

"He is still at the tower, sir," replied JARVIS.

"What the hell is he doing? We need him here!" Tony twisted out of the way of a flaming projectile.

"It appears that he fell asleep in his lab and I'm having difficulty rousing him." The genius swore and dove back in to the fray.

It seemed like hours before Loki appeared looking as pale and weak as he had when Thor rescued him from Asgard's dungeons and brought him to the Avengers for safekeeping. His appearance startled Tony enough that he missed the orb flying in his direction. He slammed hard into a building and only JARVIS' intervention kept him from hitting the ground. 

In an instant Loki was at his side, daggers in hand, protecting Tony until his armor recalibrated. As soon as he could stand the mage disappeared and Tony didn't have time to worry about his lover.

The battle was nearing a close when a sight made Tony's blood run cold. He watched as Loki took several staggering steps before falling to his knees. It was Tony's turn to stand guard, blasting anything that strayed too close.

As soon as Steve signaled the all clear Tony left the suit in sentry mode and knelt at Loki's side. The mage was deathly pale and shaking, barely able to support himself. "Talk to me, Lokes, what's going on?"

"I believe I am ill, Anthony. I have never felt like this before." No sooner were the words out of his mouth when he was violently sick. Tony brushed the hair back from the mage's face and held him tightly as he retched.

"Thor, get over here now! It's Loki."

The words were barely out of his mouth when the god appeared. "What ails you brother?"

Loki couldn't reply, he appeared to be on the brink of passing out.

"Get him back to the tower immediately." Thor nodded and scooped his brother in to his arms as gently as possible. In a moment he was gone and Tony only paused long enough for the armor to wrap around him before following suit. "As soon as Bruce is awake send him to the medical floor, we have a situation."

Tony had never been a patient man but he was going to go crazy while waiting on Loki's test results. He sat down gently on the edge of the bed and took the still trembling hand in his own. It felt warm, too warm, and Tony tried to ease the knot in his gut.

Finally Bruce walked in to the room and Tony wanted to be sick, he'd never seen such a despondent look on the doctor's face. Bruce pulled up a chair and let out a slow breath. 

"Just spit it out."

"Tony, he's dying."

It was a good thing that Tony was sitting down because the floor suddenly fell from beneath him. He had been told that he was dying before, he knew what that felt like. But to hear that someone close to him, someone that he loved, was dying was almost too much. 

"How do we fix it?"

Bruce's forehead furrowed. "Fix it?"

"I built an arc reactor and a flying suit in a cave in Afghanistan. You not only created the Hulk but you've learned to control him. We're two of the most brilliant people on the planet. If anyone can solve this problem it's us."

The scientist shook his head. "Tony, it's not like that. I've never seen anything like this. There's something attacking his cells, eating away at them. It's resistant to every antiserum I can think of." He took off his glasses and wearily rubbed at his eyes. "I'll keep working, of course, but I don't think I can stop this."

For once in his life Tony didn't have a smart reply. Bruce squeezed his shoulder and left the two in peace. How could this happen? Loki was damn near indestructible. He'd laughed off hits that would have killed a man twice over. He'd held a conversation while pulling shards of glass from his torso. He'd swallowed poison like it was candy and even asked for seconds. Now some microscopic foe was going to be his downfall? Not on Tony's watch.

Before he could stand Loki made a sound and weakly pulled on his arm. Tony twisted and tucked an errant lock of hair back. "What is it?"

Loki's eyes were glassy and unfocused when he looked up. "I'm cold."

Those two words sent Tony into a freefall. Loki was never cold, his Juton heritage saw to that. In this moment Loki's sickness became real. The love of his life was dying.

"Let's warm you up then."

Tony squeezed into the narrow bed and pulled his lover close. Loki gratefully curled in to his warmth and closed his eyes once more.

"I am not afraid."

The soft words startled Tony. "What?"

"I heard what Doctor Banner said. I have known something was not right for several days but I did not know the severity." Loki's too warm hand gently brushed Tony's cheek. "I am not afraid of dying but I do wish that I could have spent more time with you."

"Stop it. You are not going to die. You are going to live then you're going to take me to Asgard and I'm going to eat the golden apple that you've been whispering to Thor about." Tony didn't realize he was crying until a tear splashed onto Loki's cheek. "Then we're going to have the most cheesy, over the top wedding just because we can and we're going to live forever, just the two of us. We're going to travel to realms I can't pronounce and see wonders that I can't imagine and we're going to live, okay? You're going to live. You are not going to die, understand? I will fix this."

Loki nodded and weakly pulled Tony down for a kiss, tasting salt when their lips met. The mage knew his time was near but a tiny part of him hoped that he was wrong, that this wondrous man who changed his life could save it as well.

\----------------

As soon as Thor learned of Loki's condition he disappeared, returning a few hours later with a beautiful woman in tow. Tony knew without asking that this was his mother.

Loki had been moved to their bedroom and was curled up in his favorite wing-backed chair near the window. Tony headed down to the lab to escape but his concentration was shot. He tinkered with one design or another until JARVIS announced that Frigga was asking for him.

The moment their eyes met Tony knew it was over. The queen didn't hide the fact that she had been crying and Tony could only imagine her pain. 

This was the second time that she had lost her son but this time it was for good.

"You are my son's lover?"

For the first time in a long time Tony blushed. "Yes ma'am."

Her face softened slightly. "It has been centuries since I have seen my Loki so happy. Thank you."

Tony scratched the back of his neck nervously. "I never thought...I mean...I love him. I've never loved anyone like him and I doubt I ever will again." He paused to chew on his lip before plunging forward. "What's wrong with him?"

Frigga twisted her hands together in a very familiar gesture. "I haven't seen this malady since the war. Some of the Jotuns in the dungeons suddenly started falling ill and dying yet whatever affected them did not spread to the other prisoners. Our healers did what they could but they were unable to stop the disease. For a time a feared that Loki would catch it, he was so small, but it seemed to surpass him. Until now."

"What causes it?"

"We never discovered it's origins but it ravages the body until there is nothing left. Neither magic nor medicine can help. I am so sorry, Anthony."

"Why? He's your son."

"And it's you he loves. Loki does not give his love away freely. You must be someone very special to have captured his heart."

Tony nodded and swallowed against the lump in his throat. "I guess I should start packing his things. Do you know what he'll need to take with him?"

Frigga frowned. "What do you mean? Where is he going?"

"You're not taking him back to Asgard?"

"No. Why would I take him there?"

"It's his home and you're his mother. I just thought that he would like to spend the rest of his time there...with you."

The queen's smile was heartbreaking. "Loki's home is here, with you. I have said goodbye to my son and I can only pray that the fates will be kind enough to allow us to meet again in the afterlife. I have made my peace with the fact that today will be the last time I will see my son alive."

"How...uh...how long does he have?"

"Days, weeks...perhaps a month at the most. Loki is strong but I..."

Even though Tony had only known Frigga for a few hours it was natural for him to pull her in to his arms. They stood together, each attempting to soothe the other's pain, for several long minutes. 

"Asgard will always be open to you, Anthony Stark. If you ever need anything do not hesitate to ask."

"Same to you, you will always be welcome in my home."

Tony watched Frigga depart and envied her strength. He wondered how she could just walk away knowing that she would never see Loki again. It was nearly impossible to leave Loki's side for a few minutes, terrified that each moment could be his last.

"Are you going to stand there all day?"

Loki's words snapped him back to reality. Tony crossed the room and sat at the mage's feet, pillowing his head on his lap. He felt fingers begin to card though his hair and against his will tears began to fall. He tried to keep silent but Loki knew he was crying. Loki always knew.

"I'm so sorry, Anthony."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I'm bringing you pain."

Tony angrily scrubbed at his eyes. "It's not fair. I can fix anything, why can't I fix this?"

"My love, it is time for you to realize that there are forces greater than you and I at work. It is time for my journey to end and I have made my peace with that. It is your turn to do the same."

"I'm not going to stop searching for a cure. I've never seen Bruce throw himself into his work like this before. And your mom is going to work with the healers on Asgard. It's been over a thousand years since they last studied this bug, maybe they'll have a breakthrough." 

"Perhaps." Loki's tone was flat. As much as be wanted to believe that a cure might be discovered he knew that he was nearing his end.

"I would have said yes, you know."

Loki tilted Tony's head up. "What?"

"I asked Thor about the golden apples. He said it is basically a marriage proposal, asking someone to spend eternity with you. I would have said yes."

"Oh, Anthony."

A dozen emotions flashed through Loki's eyes at that moment as he pulled Tony towards him. The kiss was sweet but tasted of death. 

"Let's do it anyway," said Tony while scrambling to his feet.

"Do what?"

"Let's get married."

It was almost comical the way Loki's eyes widened. "You are mad. I'm dying. Why would you want to marry me with the knowledge that you're going to lose me?"

"Because I love you. Because I want to call you my husband even if it is only for one day. Because I want to show the world that you're mine and I'm yours."

Loki brushed a tear from his cheek. "When did you get so sentimental?"

Tony knelt down once more. "When I met you. I know this isn't the orchard on Asgard or the rooftop restaurant that I was going to rent out but it'll have to do. Loki Friggason, will you do me the greatest honor and marry me?"

Though his throat was tight, Loki managed an answer. "Of course, you fool." 

For the first time in days Tony's smile was brilliant. He kissed Loki until they were both breathless and brushed the mage's tears away.  

Carefully he settled himself on Loki's lap and the two watched the bustling of the city until the sun was low in the sky.

\-----------

The two were married the next day. One of the many special skills that agent Coulson possessed was that he was an ordained minister.

Only a handful of people were invited and that was exactly the way they wanted it. Despite his exhaustion, Loki was determined to stand through the ceremony. Aside from the fact that he had lost an alarming amount of weight in just a few days, he looked joyous as he exchanged rings with his new husband. 

That night they made love for what they both knew was the last time. Loki was exhausted but Tony was patient and soon the two were crying out their pleasure. 

Tony lay with his head on Loki's chest, listening to each precious heartbeat. His husband's ring gleamed in the dim light and he smiled despite his pain.

The chest beneath his ear rumbled and he began to relax when he realized Loki was humming. It was a tune that seemed familiar but Tony couldn't place it. The sound was comforting and for the first time since Loki's diagnosis he allowed himself to sleep.

\---------------

 The newlywed couple traveled from one side of the world to the other. Exploring other worlds was out of the question but Tony was determined to show Loki all of the wonders that Earth possessed. 

Loki was stubborn and refused any assistance at first but soon it was apparent that his strength was fading. Tony had designed a wheelchair specifically for Loki using his tech so instead of rolling it hovered above the ground.

Despite the touching gesture, the wheelchair seemed to break something inside of Loki. His head sank in to his hands and he sobbed until he was sick. He wouldn't allow Tony to touch him and the genius swallowed his own sorrow as he watched his love, his husband, fall apart.

It was three days before Loki got out of bed and he was too ashamed to meet Tony's eyes as they boarded his private jet. He had composed himself by the time they landed, slipping his pain behind a mask of indifference.

Loki loved India. The sights, the culture and the wickedly spicy food eased his spirits. Tony spun wheels, gathered flags and pleaded to entities he did not believe in for a miracle.

Each day Loki was getting thinner and weaker. When he did have an appetite, which was not often, the food tended to make him sick. They both tried to hide their pain from the other but they knew each other too well.

In Sydney he began to cough. A deep, bone-wrenching cough that left his lips stained crimson as he gasped for air. The sound immediately woke Tony who rubbed his back in an attempt at comfort.

The engineer sat behind him, arms wrapped around his narrow frame, and urged him to breathe. "Just like that, babe. Can you feel my chest? Breathe with me. In and out, in and out. Just like that."

Several long minutes passed before Loki's breathing evened out and he sank weakly into Tony's embrace. Tony gently wiped his lips and brushed the lingering tears away. "Do you want me to call Bruce? Maybe he's found something."

Weakly, Loki twisted to meet his husband's eyes. "No. No more of this. I'm tired of being treated like some kind of experiment." He cupped Tony's cheek in a trembling hand. "I am dying. There is no cure, I've accepted that. I would rather spend my last days with you exploring this world, not being poked and prodded by doctor Banner."

"But...what am I supposed to do? I can't just sit around and watch you die."

"Then don't watch me die, watch me live."

\--------

Tony promised that they were going to live and live they did. It was impossible to ignore Loki's condition but they both did their best to push it to the back of their minds.

Every other day there was a new sight to behold. Towering mountains, endless oceans, bustling cities...Loki drank each scene in with wonder. He spent hours weaving stories of his youth and doing his best to describe locations that Tony would never see.

He loved the sound of the ocean and often fell asleep to the lull of its roar. Tony would kiss his salt stained lips and watch him sleep, too afraid to close his eyes in case this breath was the last.

Loki was strong but even he could not out run death. Against all odds he had survived an astonishing four months. Each day he was growing thinner and weaker and he softly admitted that he was tired of fighting. They both knew that the end was close and Tony had saved the best for last.

As soon as Loki had expressed a desire to see the world Tony had commissioned cabin to be built in Svalbard, Norway. It had cost him a small fortune to have it completed in time but the look on Loki's weary face was worth it. 

Most of the cabin was a specially designed glass that could withstand the extreme temperatures without cracking or fogging up. It would provide a perfect view for the night's entertainment.

"This place is beautiful but barren, why have you brought me here?"

"Just you wait, snowflake. Let's get you settled." With as much weight as he had lost, it was fairly easy to maneuver Loki out of the CAT he had rented.

Each step in the snow was agony and they had to stop twice before they even made it to the door. Inside it was blissfully warm but no matter what he tried Tony could not raise Loki's temperature. He bundled the two of them up on the couch so they had a perfect view of the sky above.

"Thank you, Anthony, for everything. I could never..."

"Hush." Tony pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "The show is about to start."

As the meager sunlight faded the sky came alive. Loki sucked in a sharp breath and squeezed Tony's hand as tightly as he could manage. "It's beautiful."

The couple watched as the sky bled from green to blue to pink and back again, the colors twisting in a hypnotic ballet. Tony felt the weak rumble of Loki's chest and smiled when he heard the familiar tune. "You never told me the name of that song."

It took Loki a long time to answer. "Recuderme. It means...it..."

Suddenly his breath was gone. He gasped and choked as he fought for air. Tony rubbed his back and urged him to breathe but he knew it was useless. Loki collapsed against him and Tony held him tightly. Part if him wanted to close his eyes until it was over while part of him was terrified to miss a single second. 

He didn't have to wait long. Loki let out a sigh and that was it. He was gone.

Tony knew the exact moment that Loki died. The sky exploded in the brightest and most brilliant aurora on record that would leave scientists puzzling for decades to come. It was Loki's way of spreading a last bit of mischief as he left this world.

Tony pressed a kiss to Loki's forehead and touched his still warm cheek. He leaned close, as if sharing a final secret. "It means 'Remember Me.'"


End file.
